Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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