hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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