Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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