If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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