I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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