I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
