He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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