She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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