Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
so much tequila, so little girl.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
