He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
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I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
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Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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