Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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