the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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