Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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