Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Green mimosas i think yes
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize