Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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