this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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