Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
