so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
