My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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