I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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