I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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