idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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