The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
