My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i came on her dog
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
