i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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