what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
