we have officially lost it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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