I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
