I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
