YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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