No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
