non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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