I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
