it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
