I think I won the penis lottery.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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