evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
