I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
