is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
