As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize