It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
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Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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