Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
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Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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