I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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