I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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