you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
