i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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