Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
