why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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