covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
