they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize