I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize