my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
