And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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