Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
