But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
