so explain again why im purple
no
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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