:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Can you bring me the toilet please
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
