did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize