i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
tonight lets celebrate not being married
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
