How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
