Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize