Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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