She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
