He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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