im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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